Three men stand before St. Peter awaiting admission into Heaven. However, St. Peter has been informed that Heaven will only admit 33% of applicants today. The admissions standard: Who died the worst death? So, St. Peter takes each of the three men aside in turn and asks them about how they died.
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The bad artists imitate, the great artists steal.

-Banksy

One day, Jimmy Jones was walking down Main Street when he saw his buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup. Bubba pulled up to him with a wide grin.
“Bubba, where’d you git that truck?!?”
“Tammie give it to me,” Bubba replied.
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<hypnosis> 1. The human cell contains 75 MB of genetic information
<hypnosis> 2. A sperm 37.5 MB.
<hypnosis> 3. In a milliliter, we have 100 million sperms.
<hypnosis> On average, one ejaculation releases 2.25 ml in 5 seconds.
<hypnosis> Using basic math we can compute the bandwidth of the human male penis as:
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History is a set of lies agreed upon.

-Napoleon Bonaparte