Bill and Bob, two children, were sitting outside a clinic. Bill happened to be crying very loudly.
“Why are you crying?” Bob asked.
“I came here for a blood test,” sobbed Bill.
“So? Are you afraid?”
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A guy goes into a bar and there is a robot bartender.
The robot says,”What will you have?”
The guy says “Martini.”
The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, “What’s your IQ?”
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A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won’t stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring.
He replies: “I have a question to ask, but I don’t want to offend you.”
She answers, ” My son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.
“Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.”
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A young woman and her baby get on a bus. The bus driver looks at the baby and screams in horror The woman, furious, marches to the back of the bus to sit down.
As she sits, a man asks, “Are you OK?”
The lady replies, “That bus driver just insulted me. I should go up there and give him a piece of my mind!”
The man says, “You do that. I’ll look after your monkey.”
A kid comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help. “Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?”
His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, “I’ll demonstrate. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then come back and tell me what you’ve learned.”
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Modern Day Pirates | Est. 2005
Where has all the rum gone?