A woman in a supermarket hurries to the express line with a few items.
The clerk has his back turned to her, so she says loudly, “Excuse me, I’m in a hurry. Could you please check me out?”
The clerk turns, looks her up and down, and says, “Nice tits.”
A sales rep, an administration clerk and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke.
The Genie says, “I usually only grant three wishes, so I’ll give each of you just one.”
“Me first! Me first!” says the admin clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.” Poof! She’s gone.
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An ambitious girls’ track team coach starts giving his squad steroids. Their performance soars, and they go on to win the state championship.
The day before the nationals, one of his hurdlers comes into his office.
“Excuse me, coach.” she says. “I have a problem. Hair is starting to grow on my chest!”
“Oh, my God!” yells the coach. “Well, how far down does it go?”
“Down to my balls,” she replies. “That’s the other thing I wanted to talk to you about.”
Three men stand before St. Peter awaiting admission into Heaven. However, St. Peter has been informed that Heaven will only admit 33% of applicants today. The admissions standard: Who died the worst death? So, St. Peter takes each of the three men aside in turn and asks them about how they died.
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Modern Day Pirates | Est. 2005
Where has all the rum gone?