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Pick Up Lines

Your body’s name must be Visa, because it’s everywhere I want to be.

Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

I may not be Fred Flinstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock.

I may not be the best looking guy here, but I’m the only one talking to you.

Yo Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I’ll be your Burger King, you treat me right, and I’ll do it your way!

Excuse me, do you have your phone number? I seem to have lost mine.

I can’t find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

I’m new in town, could I have directions to your house.

If you were a new hamburger at McDonald’s, you would be McGorgeous.

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

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Fun Prank

1) Go to nawtythings.com/soundwav.html and download the orgasm 6 WAV file, or anther sound of your choosing to your target’s desktop.

2) Click on Start>Settings>Control Panel, then open Sounds and Audio Devices. Select the Sounds tab. Highlight any entry in the Program Events field. Choose the Browse button to locate the WAV file. Click OK. Max out the volume – then run!

3) (Mac users only) You must convert WAV files to AIFF format. THe easiest way to do this is via Sound Converter, a $10 utility available at dekorte.com/projects/shareware/soundconverter. Open the program and select AIFF in the drop-down window. Simply drag and drop any WAV file onto the program interface, and ta-da, it’s converted. Move your new AIFF file to the folder in your target’s hard drive at System>Library>Sounds. Then select the Apple icon in the upper left corner of the screen. Choose System Preferences>Sounds. Finish by clicking the Sound Effects tab and choosing your new alert.

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9-11 Pictograph

  1. Open up word pad
  2. Type in Q33 NY  (all in capitals)
  3. Highlight the Q33 NY
  4. Change the font size to 48
  5. Change the font name to wingdings.
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11 Reasons To Date A Counterstrike Player

  1. we listen to directions
  2. you always know where we are
  3. we love to be aggressive
  4. we like to push hard, but not hard enough to get hit
  5. we can fire off hundreds of rounds without getting tired
  6. we always wear protection
  7. we always perform great in any situation
  8. we’re good at aiming
  9. we’ll take hits for you
  10. we only play spots where you feel comfortable
  11. we have big guns

 

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Top 11 Reasons Harry Potter Would Make A Lousy IT Pro

11. Pet owl would attack computer mice and leave deposits on keyboards
10. Wand might misfire at annual meeting, killing shareholders
9. Invisibility cloak would hide him from users, management
8. He’d keep slapping servers and yelling “Repairum Serviosa!”
7. He’d replace data-center door with portrait of password-hungry fat lady
6. Flaming cauldron would set off fire-suppression system
5. He’d behave too much like a manager, waving wand and expecting results
4. He’d write all his command-line interfaces in Latin
3. He’d keep trying to link PC’s via floo network
2. Server-room Quidditch. ‘Nuff said
1. Would you leave a whiny teenager with identity issues alone in your data center?

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