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Qualities Your Mate Should Have

Here is a short list of qualities every man should look for in a mate:

  • Has to be good at video games (maybe not all of them, but a good amount)
  • Doesn’t care if room is messy
  • Living in an aquatic city has to be a possibility
  • Good at cards, but not too good
  • Doesn’t have a beard, but if she does, then it has to be temporary
  • Likes chili
  • Good at kites
  • Knowledge about robots and time travel is a plus, but isn’t a necessity
  • Won’t yell at you
  • Doesn’t have club feet, but if she does, has to be able to hit a baseball with them
  • Doesn’t get drunk, puke, and make you clean it up with your beach towel
  • Won’t slap you in the mouth
  • Will be your mate till one of you dies
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Questions For Couples Before Marriage

15 questions couples should ask each other before getting married.

ROFL @ #7

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11 Reasons To Date A Counterstrike Player

  1. we listen to directions
  2. you always know where we are
  3. we love to be aggressive
  4. we like to push hard, but not hard enough to get hit
  5. we can fire off hundreds of rounds without getting tired
  6. we always wear protection
  7. we always perform great in any situation
  8. we’re good at aiming
  9. we’ll take hits for you
  10. we only play spots where you feel comfortable
  11. we have big guns

 

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Top 11 Reasons Harry Potter Would Make A Lousy IT Pro

11. Pet owl would attack computer mice and leave deposits on keyboards
10. Wand might misfire at annual meeting, killing shareholders
9. Invisibility cloak would hide him from users, management
8. He’d keep slapping servers and yelling “Repairum Serviosa!”
7. He’d replace data-center door with portrait of password-hungry fat lady
6. Flaming cauldron would set off fire-suppression system
5. He’d behave too much like a manager, waving wand and expecting results
4. He’d write all his command-line interfaces in Latin
3. He’d keep trying to link PC’s via floo network
2. Server-room Quidditch. ‘Nuff said
1. Would you leave a whiny teenager with identity issues alone in your data center?

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